Liars turn me on

By Paula Parungao

Have you ever lied to your significant other? When you did, didn't you ever wonder what that significant other thought about you afterwards?

A study by Kaplar and Gordon present such data in intimate relationships. They found out that "lie tellers" usually thought of themselves as doing their partners a favor. That they lied for their partner's sake. Not so for "lie receivers", who thought that those partners who lied to them were selfish and deliberately did it [lie] to hurt them. Which is funny because in most of the self-reports, "lie tellers" admitted that they may have lied to hurt their partner and that maybe their lies were sorta kinda egoistically motivated--but only to protect their partner (and themselves).

And before female readers start to charge and shout "I knew it!" in front of their partners' faces, please do take note that there wasn't any sex difference as to who lied to whom. Male and female partners are both vulnerable to each other in terms of lying; being a "lie teller" and a "lie receiver".

This study is probably one of the very few that tackle the never-ending argument:

Partner A: "You LIED to me!"

Partner B: "I did it out of love!"

According to this study, Partner B may actually be telling the truth.

Reference:

Gordon, A.K., & Kaplan, M.E. (2004). The enigma of altruistic lying: perspective differences in what motivates and justifies lie telling in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships , 11 , 489-507.